i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
