on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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