Kiss
Puke
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
