Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
