Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
