"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
