did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
