Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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