even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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