The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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