I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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