STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
