Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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