I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You've changed since you got that strap on
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
