i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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