When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
