So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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