Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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