My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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