I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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