How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
