It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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