Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
