You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
