I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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