Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
