yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
