just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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