I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
