The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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