Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
