The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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