Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
do nipples grow back?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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