Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
