dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just invented taco cereal.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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