If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
