Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
