I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
