put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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