I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize