I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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