we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
