honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
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We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
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Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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