Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
