Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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