where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
