He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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