He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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