a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize