this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
