The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i out mim tonsoeep
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