I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize