i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
