Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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