I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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