so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
