lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
