Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
