then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
