THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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