I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you would pick up someone in the library
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize