Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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