I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
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when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
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Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I woke up under a house in Key West
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