Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
