ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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