at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
